Peacefulness

When we learned that we were pregnant (3 years ago yesterday!) Stephen and I both knew pretty immediately that we wanted to go through the Growing Kids God's Way classes. They would teach us how to get Paige on a routine with feeding and sleeping...and we could have her sleeping through the night in her own bed by the time she was 8 weeks old. SIGN US UP!

There are so many positives to the program, but the encourage you to not constantly rock your child to sleep because that will form a crutch and then the baby will always have to be rocked to sleep. I always knew that I wanted to be able to rock my baby to sleep, but I also knew that the greater good was at stake if I did it really often. So we didn't rock her to sleep unless she was sick or just really needed extra loving that night.

In the past few months, however, I've really felt a need to hold onto my baby while she's still somewhat of a baby. At around 10:30 at night (after Paige has been asleep for about 2 hours), I'll go into her room, pick her up, and walk into the living room with her and sit in the rocking recliner and just rock...while holding my baby. I NEED to hold her and rock her and show her that no matter how big or old she gets, she's always my baby.

I love to have her laying on my chest with her head resting peacefully on my shoulder (she never wakes up during this process by the way). I love feeling her take breaths. I love brushing my fingers through her fine hair. I love smelling her hair and hope she always likes to wear baby lotion! I sit for about 20 minutes and literally pray over her...I ask God to protect my baby, to guide her steps daily, I pray for her to make Jesus her forever friend, I pray for her future husband, and I pray that God will give Stephen and I just the right words to say to her in every single situation that arises for her. When I'm about to fall asleep rocking in the recliner, I'll stand up and walk her back to her bedroom and lay her down in her bed. She never knew she left. She quickly rolls back into the corner of her bed and begins sucking her thumb again. I cover her up with her Dora the Explorer blanket and walk out of her room.

I guess I'm realizing that the moments of Paige being a baby are basically over. Paige wears big girl panties all the time now. Her new big girl toddler bed should be here any day. She speaks in complete sentences and can express her wants to us. She knows her colors, some shapes, and can count to 12. I'm in awe of her everyday. I really need those 20 minutes late at night when when all is peaceful that she can just be my baby.